My nipple is on Facebook.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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