y did u give ur computer a hand job?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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