how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
