my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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