youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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