This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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