DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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