She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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