Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize