My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
