That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
