this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
