she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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