even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
