Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
