Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
