that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
