do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
