You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
