I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
