Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
