I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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