I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
