yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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