you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
