she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
