I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
