The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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