At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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