also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Randomize
