i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
