um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
How external is "for external use only"?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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