How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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