i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
