I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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