If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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