i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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