i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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