My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
