Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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