so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
