how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
