I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
