Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
