So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Let's get the cat blown out
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
