Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
