do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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