How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
