As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We are two peas in an std pod
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
