ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
